First things first - this a much more imaginative response to your three words, but my immediate instinct is that your story is just too big for a sixty second gig! Too much incident! That said, I like the way you've got the 'baldness cure' twist in the third act - that's nice thinking. There's something sweetly Scooby-Doo about your scenario. The 'boy and his dog' duo, I like, but I can sort of see things getting a bit more simple if you make the boy into a sweet 'Sherlock Holmes' wannabe with his trusty 'Watson' sniffer dog side-kick (very nice character design opportunities!) - so the boy is the 'Private Detective' with the water-pistol and magnifying glass as accessories, and the dog as his loyal companion and crime-fighting sidekick. The boy could be the farmer's son, and yes he could be investigating a rival farmer's behaviour. Again, in terms of simplicity, maybe it's about a veg growing competition between rival farmers; the little boy is the son of a farmer who is always losing out to Mr Wilson's giant pumpkins (or marrows or turnips or whatever). The little boy suspects 'foul play' and goes on a mission to find out Mr Wilson's secret. Like I said, I like the twist in ACT 3; if Mr Wilson is using 'growth tonic' to super-size his veg, maybe the boy detective loads his water pistol with the growth stimulant, squirts Mr Wilson, and Mr Wilson ends up growing big and round... and that leads onto something else - a visual joke or another problem solved. Anyway - the general advice is find a way to shrink your story to fit; remember, in terms of showing your audience that your character 'is' a private detective or has become one you only need to put a Sherlock-Holmes hat on his head and give him a magnifying glass, and your audience will get it. I don't think you need to tie yourself up in knots about back-story in terms of the dog or the boy, you just need to set up a mystery and then show your characters assuming the role of the 'detective'.
OGR 24/01/2014
ReplyDeleteHey Lisa,
First things first - this a much more imaginative response to your three words, but my immediate instinct is that your story is just too big for a sixty second gig! Too much incident! That said, I like the way you've got the 'baldness cure' twist in the third act - that's nice thinking. There's something sweetly Scooby-Doo about your scenario. The 'boy and his dog' duo, I like, but I can sort of see things getting a bit more simple if you make the boy into a sweet 'Sherlock Holmes' wannabe with his trusty 'Watson' sniffer dog side-kick (very nice character design opportunities!) - so the boy is the 'Private Detective' with the water-pistol and magnifying glass as accessories, and the dog as his loyal companion and crime-fighting sidekick. The boy could be the farmer's son, and yes he could be investigating a rival farmer's behaviour. Again, in terms of simplicity, maybe it's about a veg growing competition between rival farmers; the little boy is the son of a farmer who is always losing out to Mr Wilson's giant pumpkins (or marrows or turnips or whatever). The little boy suspects 'foul play' and goes on a mission to find out Mr Wilson's secret. Like I said, I like the twist in ACT 3; if Mr Wilson is using 'growth tonic' to super-size his veg, maybe the boy detective loads his water pistol with the growth stimulant, squirts Mr Wilson, and Mr Wilson ends up growing big and round... and that leads onto something else - a visual joke or another problem solved. Anyway - the general advice is find a way to shrink your story to fit; remember, in terms of showing your audience that your character 'is' a private detective or has become one you only need to put a Sherlock-Holmes hat on his head and give him a magnifying glass, and your audience will get it. I don't think you need to tie yourself up in knots about back-story in terms of the dog or the boy, you just need to set up a mystery and then show your characters assuming the role of the 'detective'.